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Truly, ponies are fearsome beasts
— Isaac Sheff,
on fighting with the devil
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Jan. 30, 2016
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Never bet against the compiler.
— Mike Stonebraker,
on why it's better to program your database in SQL than a low-level NoSQL language
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Dec. 3, 2015
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This is a [BitCoin] paper wallet—Zikai, I believe this has already been spent if you're trying to take a picture.
— Ari Juels,
as Zikai Wen quickly pulls out his phone.
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Nov. 16, 2015
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I wanted to throw out that word just to show you that I know it.
— Dexter Kozen
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Nov. 13, 2015
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Let me explain that expression. Let me not explain that expression.
— Dexter Kozen,
using confusing expressions in an algorithm.
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Nov. 6, 2015
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Anything's allowed. This is mathematics!
— Dexter Kozen,
explaining why his proofs work.
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Nov. 2, 2015
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I don't compute. I decide.
— Fabian Muehlboeck
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Oct. 31, 2015
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We have 25 minutes left. That's an eon.
— Hakim Weatherspoon,
approaching a paper deadline
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Oct. 30, 2015
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Those five-year-olds can't run for s**t
— Owen Arden,
explaining Fall Creek
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Oct. 29, 2015
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The two elephants in the room are handling concurrency.
— Kathleen Fisher,
on formal methods
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Oct. 22, 2015
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We didn’t come here to sleep together, although that might be enjoyable.
— RMS,
on why we should leave the lights on
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Oct. 21, 2015
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So the answer to your question is, "Forget it. You're not going to know. You're just going to get old."
— Fred Schneider,
on how you will know when you research field is exhausted.
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Oct. 9, 2015
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For 5 we have an n^5 algorithm, but for other values of 5...
— Dexter Kozen,
on the difficulty of the clique problem.
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Oct. 9, 2015
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We send messages to what we call "gates," because we got a lot of money from Gates.
— Robbert van Renesse,
describing the networking layer in his cloud computing system
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Oct. 2, 2015
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I'm a princess; they'll listen to me!
— Matthew Milano,
Somewhere north of Kiev
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Oct. 1, 2015
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