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Yaaay, I love dictating!
— Fabian Muehlboeck,
celebrating the opportunity to decide on dinner.
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Sept. 30, 2015
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That's a bug, but it could also be a feature.
— Scott Wehrwein,
on a seam in his temporal composite video, in which people suddenly go from fast to slow motion when passing a tree.
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Sept. 23, 2015
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That's just data collection, so don't blame me.
Well, I collected the data too, so blame me.
— Scott Wehrwein,
during a student brown bag talk.
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Sept. 23, 2015
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The question I want to ask is, can we make algorithms boring?
— Boaz Barak,
introducing his research area
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Sept. 17, 2015
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The definition is kind of like pornography: I'll know it when I see it.
— Boaz Barak,
on combinatorial optimization
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Sept. 17, 2015
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There is a saying in Hebrew: it's OK to piss in the pool, but don't do it from the diving board.
— Boaz Barak,
on allowing negative probabilities, as long as they're not too negative
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Sept. 17, 2015
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To the naked eye these algorithms seem indistinguishable: the difference is in the number of umlauts in the names of the authors.
— Boaz Barak
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Sept. 17, 2015
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The computer was invented by Charles Babbage who lived in China during the Ming dynasty.
— Isaac Sheff,
while viewing a film on historical China
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Sept. 12, 2015
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In my last... NaN minutes... I'd like to tell you about a surprising application of Differential Privacy.
— Cynthia Dwork,
running over time at Colloquium
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Sept. 3, 2015
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Let's talk about John Hopcroft's coke habit.
— Andrew Hirsch,
discussing the Coke Machine. Which dispenses *soda*
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July 2, 2015
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""My pants were so wet." - Fabian Muehlboeck, talking about "the rain""
— Fabian Muehlboeck,
Fantasizing about being quoted
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July 1, 2015
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Oh. I thought people are dirt.
— Fabian Muehlboeck,
Playing Ars Magica, interrogating corpses
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June 15, 2015
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I've been an old person before.
— Andrew Hirsch,
Discussing theater and making an actor look old.
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May 11, 2015
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So I can't decide if I should submit this at SIGSEGV or MFPS
— Andrew Hirsch,
discussing "Kit: KAT for git"
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April 20, 2015
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I think, going forward, these things are actually going to kill people, which is more exciting.
— Peter Bailis,
at a student meeting, on database systems.
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April 9, 2015
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