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Advisors who beat their students were themselves beaten as students.
— Fred Schneider,
explaining why some advisors pressure their students to publish a lot
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Nov. 22, 2016
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Are you a robot?
— Isaac Sheff,
Answering a call from a real person working at Nielsen
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Oct. 31, 2016
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You can't cut the wood without sharpening a saw.
— Dexter Kozen,
explaining why he had given a brief overview of probability spaces and Lebesgue integrals in a programming languages seminar talk.
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Oct. 19, 2016
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GrammaTech is the largest Computer Science department in Ithaca.
— Fred Schneider,
introducing a speaker from GrammaTech
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Sept. 22, 2016
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That's what Robbert asked me when we did the dry run tomorrow.
— Shrutarshi Basu,
answering a question at systems lunch
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Sept. 2, 2016
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As you might know, betrayal is everywhere.
— Cristian Danescu-Niculescu-Mizil,
motivating his research
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Aug. 30, 2016
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Let's avoid unicode.
— Andrew Myers,
Typing on his modified-dvorak keyboard, using chording for arrows and greek
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Aug. 17, 2016
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Nobody likes exceptions more than I do, and even I don't really like them.
— Andrew Myers,
Professing
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Aug. 10, 2016
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Today we're really happy to have a speaker not talking about applied crypto...
— Nate Foster,
introducing a Systems Lunch talk
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May 6, 2016
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I'm going to give it a few minutes, because Isaac is angrily fighting a printer
— Tom Magrino,
delaying a meeting
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April 20, 2016
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This illustrates the most indirect method of keeping a sheep warm.
— Steve Marschner,
showing a picture of a sheared sheep wearing a wool sweater.
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March 1, 2016
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I haven't written a deterministic, non-threaded program since... 1983.
— Ken Birman,
explaining why it's important to handle non-determinism in debugging tools
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Feb. 19, 2016
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Gun: Can we move on from this?
Naveed: Actually, this is my last slide...
— Muhammad Naveed,
after a lot of questions about one slide of a systems lunch talk
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Feb. 12, 2016
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Trees are beautiful. I want to hug a tree right now.
— Antonio Carzaniga,
on why we should bring back routing trees
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Feb. 5, 2016
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Every paper has a chart like this, saying "our system is better and faster," so here's mine.
— Arnab Nandi,
introducing a bar graph in his talk
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Feb. 4, 2016
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