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Nobody likes exceptions more than I do, and even I don't really like them.
— Andrew Myers,
Professing
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Aug. 10, 2016
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Today we're really happy to have a speaker not talking about applied crypto...
— Nate Foster,
introducing a Systems Lunch talk
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May 6, 2016
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I'm going to give it a few minutes, because Isaac is angrily fighting a printer
— Tom Magrino,
delaying a meeting
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April 20, 2016
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This illustrates the most indirect method of keeping a sheep warm.
— Steve Marschner,
showing a picture of a sheared sheep wearing a wool sweater.
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March 1, 2016
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I haven't written a deterministic, non-threaded program since... 1983.
— Ken Birman,
explaining why it's important to handle non-determinism in debugging tools
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Feb. 19, 2016
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Gun: Can we move on from this?
Naveed: Actually, this is my last slide...
— Muhammad Naveed,
after a lot of questions about one slide of a systems lunch talk
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Feb. 12, 2016
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Trees are beautiful. I want to hug a tree right now.
— Antonio Carzaniga,
on why we should bring back routing trees
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Feb. 5, 2016
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Every paper has a chart like this, saying "our system is better and faster," so here's mine.
— Arnab Nandi,
introducing a bar graph in his talk
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Feb. 4, 2016
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Truly, ponies are fearsome beasts
— Isaac Sheff,
on fighting with the devil
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Jan. 30, 2016
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This is a [BitCoin] paper wallet—Zikai, I believe this has already been spent if you're trying to take a picture.
— Ari Juels,
as Zikai Wen quickly pulls out his phone.
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Nov. 16, 2015
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I wanted to throw out that word just to show you that I know it.
— Dexter Kozen
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Nov. 13, 2015
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Anything's allowed. This is mathematics!
— Dexter Kozen,
explaining why his proofs work.
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Nov. 2, 2015
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I don't compute. I decide.
— Fabian Muehlboeck
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Oct. 31, 2015
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We have 25 minutes left. That's an eon.
— Hakim Weatherspoon,
approaching a paper deadline
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Oct. 30, 2015
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Those five-year-olds can't run for s**t
— Owen Arden,
explaining Fall Creek
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Oct. 29, 2015
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