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The two elephants in the room are handling concurrency.
— Kathleen Fisher,
on formal methods
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Oct. 22, 2015
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We didn’t come here to sleep together, although that might be enjoyable.
— RMS,
on why we should leave the lights on
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Oct. 21, 2015
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So the answer to your question is, "Forget it. You're not going to know. You're just going to get old."
— Fred Schneider,
on how you will know when you research field is exhausted.
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Oct. 9, 2015
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For 5 we have an n^5 algorithm, but for other values of 5...
— Dexter Kozen,
on the difficulty of the clique problem.
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Oct. 9, 2015
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We send messages to what we call "gates," because we got a lot of money from Gates.
— Robbert van Renesse,
describing the networking layer in his cloud computing system
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Oct. 2, 2015
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I'm a princess; they'll listen to me!
— Matthew Milano,
Somewhere north of Kiev
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Oct. 1, 2015
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Yaaay, I love dictating!
— Fabian Muehlboeck,
celebrating the opportunity to decide on dinner.
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Sept. 30, 2015
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That's a bug, but it could also be a feature.
— Scott Wehrwein,
on a seam in his temporal composite video, in which people suddenly go from fast to slow motion when passing a tree.
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Sept. 23, 2015
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That's just data collection, so don't blame me.
Well, I collected the data too, so blame me.
— Scott Wehrwein,
during a student brown bag talk.
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Sept. 23, 2015
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The question I want to ask is, can we make algorithms boring?
— Boaz Barak,
introducing his research area
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Sept. 17, 2015
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The definition is kind of like pornography: I'll know it when I see it.
— Boaz Barak,
on combinatorial optimization
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Sept. 17, 2015
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There is a saying in Hebrew: it's OK to piss in the pool, but don't do it from the diving board.
— Boaz Barak,
on allowing negative probabilities, as long as they're not too negative
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Sept. 17, 2015
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To the naked eye these algorithms seem indistinguishable: the difference is in the number of umlauts in the names of the authors.
— Boaz Barak
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Sept. 17, 2015
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The computer was invented by Charles Babbage who lived in China during the Ming dynasty.
— Isaac Sheff,
while viewing a film on historical China
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Sept. 12, 2015
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In my last... NaN minutes... I'd like to tell you about a surprising application of Differential Privacy.
— Cynthia Dwork,
running over time at Colloquium
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Sept. 3, 2015
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