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Let me change the theorem to one I can actually prove.
— Bob Constable
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May 28, 1977
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I have an n floating around, which I guess I haven't mentioned today.
— John Hopcroft
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Nov. 10, 1975
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This is known, as of today, as the "Sticky Fingers Louie" method.
— Juris Hartmanis
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Sept. 24, 1975
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I'd have to think about it. I'm not in the mood to think.
— John Hopcroft
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Oct. 11, 1974
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I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I am not Hopcroft. The bad news is that Hopcroft will be back.
— Juris Hartmanis
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Sept. 2, 1974
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Everything I say is plus or minus one.
— Tim Teitelbaum
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April 17, 1974
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Apparently we could get a whopping 3 Chris Lams to attend
— Matvey Soloviev,
scheduling a 4820 staff picnic
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May 17, 2021
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Functional languages have this cool feature where they waste half your memory.
— Andrew Myers,
on garbage collection
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May 12, 2021
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There's not much forgiveness in an operating system. You do something you're not supposed to do, and you basically just get killed.
— Anne Bracy,
discussing privileged processes in CS 3410.
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May 4, 2021
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What if Mars has better chocoloate?
— Sachille Atapattu,
Considering death by chocolate
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April 14, 2019
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Tom: Josh is having trouble. It's the lack of monads.
Josh: Actually.
— Tom Magrino,
explaining why Josh kept taking longer than everyone else to program his RoboRally robot
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March 2, 2019
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Stack Overflow often has the answer for how to look up the answer, though.
— Drew Zagieboylo,
explaining how to figure out how to profile Java
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Nov. 19, 2018
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If you want to know when he's up, just keep texting him, "U up?"
— Isaac Sheff,
on how to keep tabs on one's friends
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Nov. 16, 2018
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Shir: Does anyone know what the sound from the clock tower is? It sounds like a pterodactyl. Or a Whale
Lucy: Shir, how do you know what a pterodactyl sounds like?
— Shir and Lucy,
discussing a strange emenation from McGraw Tower.
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Oct. 14, 2018
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You want mental illness? You've got mental illness.
— Isaac Sheff,
describing the first season of Netflix's Punisher
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Sept. 10, 2018
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