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QUESTION! For all of you! Well not you [Neil], I don't like you.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
Obviously joking
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March 28, 2023
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In the optimistic protocol, you shoot the orphans.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
explaining failure recovery.
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Feb. 22, 2023
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What should you do when someone rushes into your room in the middle of the night and asks you to fix a failed server?
You don't need to wake up. Just shout "Replicate! Replicate!" 99% of the time you will be right.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
introducing state machine replication
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Feb. 15, 2023
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What did our friend Fred do? He figured out that if replication doesn't work, just cheat!
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
fate-sharing of voter and client
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Feb. 15, 2023
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There is a special place in hell for people who break spaghetti in half.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
using it as a placeholder for a process’ event in an order of events related concept during a CS5414 lecture
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Nov. 21, 2019
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'No more than k threads are in the critical section at once'
You can achieve that by just not running any threads.
'No patient is ever given the wrong medication'.
That's also easy. You just take away Obamacare.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
Talking about Safety Properties in CS4410
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Feb. 14, 2017
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There is no free lunch... well I guess in Italy there is free lunch.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
Teaching CS4410
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Feb. 2, 2017
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As a side note, you probably didn't expect me to mention the Spanish Inquisition in my talk. But, then again, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
after telling the story of The Pit and the Pendulum
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Nov. 5, 2015
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When you move outside the ACID paradigm, there is no sweetness, it's just a question of how sour you're going to get.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
on why programmers love ACID
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Nov. 5, 2015
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