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If you want to know when he's up, just keep texting him, "U up?"
— Isaac Sheff,
on how to keep tabs on one's friends
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Nov. 16, 2018
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You want mental illness? You've got mental illness.
— Isaac Sheff,
describing the first season of Netflix's Punisher
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Sept. 10, 2018
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In Snape's defense, he killed Dumbledore.
— Isaac Sheff,
talking about justice in the Harry Potter universe
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Dec. 15, 2016
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Are you a robot?
— Isaac Sheff,
Answering a call from a real person working at Nielsen
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Oct. 31, 2016
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It's like one of them showroom floors where you have a spinning car, but killing people.
— Isaac Sheff,
on Teslas on escalators
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April 1, 2016
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Truly, ponies are fearsome beasts
— Isaac Sheff,
on fighting with the devil
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Jan. 30, 2016
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The computer was invented by Charles Babbage who lived in China during the Ming dynasty.
— Isaac Sheff,
while viewing a film on historical China
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Sept. 12, 2015
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Penalty. Unicorns are full of rainbows and butterflies.
— Isaac Sheff,
while moderating a debate on "Upworthy or Clickhole?" at SIGSEGV
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Nov. 15, 2014
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