Recent Quotes
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The key thing is to show that you've thought about it, which is best done by thinking about it.
— Ross Knepper,
explaining how to write a teaching statement
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April 18, 2017
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That's a complete contradiction of what I've just said, but they're both true.
...That's going on the quotes page, isn't it.
— Ross Knepper,
after explaining that nobody reads teaching statements, but they're very important.
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April 18, 2017
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Tom: I'm seeing a lot of use of $100 words here.
Andrew: Nah, these are at most $50 words
— Tom Magrino and Andrew Myers,
discussing a paper
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April 10, 2017
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My ass never learned to read.
— Robert Escriva,
in reply to a smartass joke.
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April 10, 2017
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Yeah… my one-man show “The Encryption Key To My Heart” is entering its second week
— Paul Grubbs,
replying to a joke about what Cornell Tech PhD students do in the city.
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March 31, 2017
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lol, I haven't been quoted at all
— Dhruv Singhal,
commenting on how Prof. Gries has a longer history of being quoted than him.
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March 29, 2017
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So it's like alternative medicine for your eyes?
— James Noeckel,
on f.lux
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March 28, 2017
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When you write Hello World at Google it's a 1GB binary.
[laughter]
I'm not joking.
— Jon Howell,
explaining the amount of monitoring in Google systems
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March 24, 2017
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Let me prove a lemma which isn't quite true.
— John Hopcroft,
CS 4850 lecture
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March 8, 2017
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Why can't I be angry at range?
— Tom Magrino,
playing as a barbarian in DnD
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March 2, 2017
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Jed is actually the kobold of the department.
— Fabian Muehlboeck,
explaining missing papers
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March 1, 2017
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I once dreamt that I was an integral. When I woke up, I was curved like an integral with my hands together arched forward and my legs curled behind me.
— Alisa Jung,
I was explaining my night terrors (where obscenely violent actions were being performed on me, yet I somehow didn't actually scream in reality).
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Feb. 28, 2017
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