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I can not think out why exists such a obscure language! This project had made me headache several days.
— melvin,
A user under the pseudonym "melvin" complaining about OCaml and the Frenetic project on the official OCaml discussion forum
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Jan. 30, 2018
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Do you want to go play board games or are you gonna hang out with these losers?
— Fabian Mühlbock,
said on Friday night at Rulloff’s when people were about to get more drinks
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Dec. 8, 2017
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Ethan: You seem to be enjoying yourself.
Andy: Yeah. I'm busy cutting people in half!
— Andrew Morgan,
while doing homework
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Oct. 11, 2017
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It is very complicated... I don't want to explain.
— Elaine Shi,
on achieving liveness
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Oct. 5, 2017
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Bobby Kleinberg: Does that mean the nodes are "homophobic"?
Cris Moore: We prefer the term "heterophilic."
— Bobby Kleinberg,
talking about graph models where nodes prefer to form edges if they have different properties from one another
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April 24, 2017
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The key thing is to show that you've thought about it, which is best done by thinking about it.
— Ross Knepper,
explaining how to write a teaching statement
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April 18, 2017
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When you write Hello World at Google it's a 1GB binary.
[laughter]
I'm not joking.
— Jon Howell,
explaining the amount of monitoring in Google systems
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March 24, 2017
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Thank you for calling me 'tentacly man'
— Matthew Milano,
responding to Andrew, who failed to remember his name
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Feb. 9, 2017
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My favorite pastime is trolling Scott Aaronson.
— Dexter Kozen,
Talking about crank emails
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Sept. 21, 2016
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Group loops -- are those a mathematician's cereal?
— Dexter Kozen,
On his breakfast
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Sept. 21, 2016
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And now, on a lighter note, let's talk about human sacrifice.
— Xanda Schofield,
introducing a talk at ETC
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April 13, 2016
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Any plan that starts with "Make a method more practical" and ends with "by putting it on a drone" is...suspect.
— Steve Marschner,
on an algorithm for rendering images of finished wood
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March 4, 2016
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I've got a lot of gray hair, but what really makes me feel old is that I remember when Ken had hair.
— Mike Stonebraker,
colloquium talk
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Dec. 3, 2015
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When you move outside the ACID paradigm, there is no sweetness, it's just a question of how sour you're going to get.
— Lorenzo Alvisi,
on why programmers love ACID
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Nov. 5, 2015
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I'm going to make a language called "Blanket." It will have a high thread count.
— Fran Mota
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Feb. 20, 2015
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