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Tom Finley: [At home,] I would like to have bookcases that are completely filled up with books.
David: Well, there are two ways to achieve this - you can either buy books or throw away bookcases.
— David Martin,
In the office, while discussing textbook purchases and considering the attractiveness of books and bookcases for interior decoration.
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Jan. 25, 2005
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I hate probability . . . why didn't I make a deterministic protocol . . .
— Mahesh Balakrishnan
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Nov. 16, 2004
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Structural operational semantics are kind of kinky.
— Fred Schneider
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July 12, 2004
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This is easily the crappiest paper I'll ever ask anyone to read.
— Gun Sirer,
On a paper read for discussion at the Copano Group meeting
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May 6, 2004
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A single host is an extreme example of a peer-to-peer system.
— Robbert van Renesse,
During a Copano meeting
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May 6, 2004
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If I had to build an attack that didn't apply in the real world, I could make it hard to detect too.
— Fred Schneider,
Commenting on a weak TCP attack in the Systems Lunch.
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April 2, 2004
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In 1972, functions were higher-order mathematics for computer scientists.
— Fred Schneider
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March 16, 2004
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A picture is worth a thousand words, a video is worth a thousand pictures and a demo a thousand videos. So we're up to, um, ten to the nine.
— Yann LeCun,
During AI lunch.
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Feb. 27, 2004
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QED: proof by the English language and intimidation.
— Charlie Van Loan,
CS421: "Proving" that the roots of the characteristic polynomials Pk and Pk-1 are distinct.
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Oct. 10, 2003
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As long as it doesn't explode everything is fine.
— Jayavel Shanmugasundaram,
CS432: B+-tree lecture
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Sept. 29, 2003
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Remember that the tokens are figments of our imagination
— Eva Tardos,
On the use of tokens in proofs of amortized bounds
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Sept. 22, 2003
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I have no idea why this does what it does, but I'll write it down and maybe you can tell me.
— Dexter Kozen,
When writing up a formula belonging to Dedekind complete Temporal Logic.
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April 9, 2003
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A computer scientist is a mathematician with a job
— Dexter Kozen,
advice to Alexei Kopylov, circa 2003
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March 1, 2003
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The sun blows up... that seems to me as something that doesn't happen in a normal program.
— Dexter Kozen,
CS 686
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2001
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If everyone's happy with that, we'll call it a proof modulo all the cases we left out.
— Dexter Kozen,
CS 686
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2001
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