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Systems never crash
— Fred Schneider,
PLDG
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May 1, 2015
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I actually wrote code today, and I felt guilty.
— Ross Knepper
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May 1, 2015
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That's an excellent question. I'll be talking about the problem of a 6 year old mashing the button rather than a 3 year old mashing the button, however.
— Ari Juels,
Answering a question about problems with authentication tokens during a lecture.
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April 20, 2015
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I don't want to risk being vegan.
— Rahmtin Rotabi
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April 14, 2015
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Constraints is the internet.
— Laure Thompson,
Discussing a workshop for teaching middle schoolers about networking.
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April 12, 2015
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I've never done classy things. With like, belts and stuff.
— Adam Campbell,
Talking about martial arts
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April 8, 2015
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It takes 3 minutes of measurement, 4 minutes of computation, and 5 minutes were wasted because we did this in MATLAB and didn't optimize our code very well.
— Sergey Levine,
describing how long it takes a robot to learn to assemble Lego bricks
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April 7, 2015
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The bike is now a car.
— Andrew Hirsch,
to Tom Magrino, updating an example in a tutorial.
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April 7, 2015
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Loud female voice in Gates hallway: "I love you...! And I love the work that you do... and I love the comments that you say! … I love you!”
Quiet male voice: “Ugh... thanks...”
— Unknown,
Hallway conversation
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March 20, 2015
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I hear that the halting problem is kinda a big deal
— Matthew Milano,
discussing how Agda isn't strongly normalizing
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March 17, 2015
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It is rank 2. It will kill you.
— Serge Belongie,
on why you can't invert \hat{T} to extract R from the essential matrix
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March 5, 2015
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People who move to Montana are looking for a slower lifestyle.
— Fred Schneider,
during colloquium, on why the map of a proposed speed-of-light Internet doesn't include Montana
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March 5, 2015
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Suppose I inappropriately trusted you
— Ken Birman,
Asking a question during a systems lunch talk on bitcoin
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Feb. 13, 2015
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I cast "speak with idiots!"
— Matthew Milano,
speaking to Adith
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Jan. 21, 2015
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Next week, I'll be showing you 4D graphs.
— Efe Gencer,
without a hint of irony
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Dec. 10, 2014
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